Investigations of the Paranormal Variety
by Luddles
Summary: People would think I'm crazy if I told them that I spend a good amount of time hanging around people who are, by all ordinary measures, dead. Oneshot, AU, no pairings, REALLY WEIRD, mostly about Sephiroth, Genesis, and Zack


**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, just this AU that I made up. **

**A/N: This all came from a dream I had. Some of the characters have been switched because they were from Kingdom Hearts and FFIX, but otherwise it's basically the same. So that's the only reason I've been writing horror stories. **

**Investigations of the Paranormal Variety**

People would think I'm crazy if I told them that I spend a good amount of time hanging around people who are, by all ordinary measures, dead. They would think I'm even crazier if I explained that it's actually job training for my future career. Because of that, I don't tell most of my friends that I spend my weekends hanging out with zombies.

Zombies, despite popular opinion, don't eat brains.

They really aren't a danger to society; their only problem is that if a person who is supposed to be dead somehow comes back, the government doesn't really like it. Actually, zombies have no rights whatsoever, but since most people don't believe they exist, lobbying for zombies' rights isn't practical. But basically, there are a lot of homeless zombies out there and all of them end up in a nondescript hotel-turned-boarding house on the darker side of downtown that also served as the largest base of paranormal investigators in Midgar.

It was more formally known as Crane's Hollow.

Since the Hollow was on the darker side of town, a werewolf named Reno usually walked me there and back. Except during full moons, when Reno was locked away to prevent him from killing everyone in a mile radius and one of his friends, a zombie named Rude, took me instead. Werewolves were tricky. Reno was perfectly nice on most days, but I had never seen him on a full moon.

Rumor had it that's what killed Rude.

Vampires are even worse than werewolves, though. There aren't any at Crane's Hollow, and I'm not authorized to deal with them.

They just want to kill everyone and drink their blood.

The only other remarkable undeads were ghosts, which I typically didn't deal with because I couldn't see them. Rude said he could, because he was technically dead. Reno couldn't, though. Once, however, I did encounter something a little paranormal.

It was a Friday night and I was heading to Crane's Hollow underneath a full moon hanging in the sky. Rude met me at the door, wearing a turtleneck to hide the scars on his neck that came from whatever killed him. Zombie scars didn't really look like scars, though. Instead they were basically open wounds, trapped forever in what stage the zombie had been re-animated in. Rude's looked only hours old, even though he had lost all his blood through them, and they were messily stitched and kind of disgusting.

He usually hid them.

When we reached the door, Rude spoke for the first and last time that night. He was pretty quiet, unlike Reno, who could talk your ear off.

"Good night. I'm going to see Reno."

He couldn't actually see that much of Reno, because Reno was still locked up, but he tended to stand outside the door looking lonely until the red-haired werewolf came around. He was almost painfully loyal.

As I parted from Reno, I ran into a cute little zombie named Denzel. He was pretty average-looking despite the grayish pallor undead things got. Aside from the big autopsy scar on his chest, he was generally unmarred as well. I wasn't sure how he died, only how he'd come back. It had all been the plot of some crazy man named Hojo, who wanted to raise a zombie army to take over the world. Rude and Denzel were both part of that plan.

It didn't really work because zombies actually did have brains and they knew better than to go around fighting for some random scientist who wanted world power.

Denzel told me that the paranormal investigators I worked under were looking for me, so I traipsed over to their room. I was kind of their apprentice, and they taught me everything I knew. They were also just about as paranormal as anything they investigated. Only two of the three would be there tonight anyway, because Angeal was a werewolf too. Sephiroth and Genesis were hardly more human than he, being some kind of generally unexplained extraterrestrial and a half-siren, respectively.

The three of them were part of the group of things that weren't considered undead, but not necessarily human either.

I walked slowly to their door, pausing a moment before knocking. It was really better to be late with them sometimes, because Genesis tended to cause a lot of trouble I never wanted to walk into. It was especially bad if Angeal wasn't around, because he was better at keeping Genesis out of trouble than Sephiroth was. Genesis yelled for me to come in, and I opened the door.

Sephiroth was lounging on the couch with his legs crossed and a book in his hands. He was only wearing a pair of black jeans and socks, having long-since stopped wearing shirts around me. He seemed to have a special dislike for them. "Hey," Sephiroth said in greeting, his acid-green eyes sliding up to me. Both of them looked tired after having spent a long day of work on a specific case. The same case that I was supposed to be talking to them about.

"So… what's going on?" I asked, taking a seat on one of the chairs. Their apartment was small, with a large sort of meeting space that also served as the office as the main feature, and two bedrooms in the back. Sephiroth and Genesis shared a room, because Genesis had some kind of phobia of being alone. Most of us were pretty sure he was certifiably insane.

"We've got a ghost problem," Sephiroth said lazily, running his fingers through his hair. Only he could say something like that so casually. For some reason, Sephiroth's alien heritage allowed him to see ghosts.

"Right… and you want my help with it how?"

"You know what a mute ghost means, right?" Genesis asked. I did. Often, if ghosts could not speak, it was because their bodies were still technically alive. They could be in a coma, or just completely braindead.

"It's kind of obnoxious," Sephiroth said, pulling a shirt on over his head. "He follows me around everywhere, but I don't know who he is. We've been calling him a puppy because of that."

"It would be easier if he could speak sign language," Genesis sighed, smoothing his shirt and reaching up to disentangle his long earring from his hair.

"Trust me, he gets the point across," Sephiroth said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "He's practically attached himself to me. It's ridiculous."

"So… is he here now?" I asked. Genesis was rummaging around in a nondescript bag that sat in the corner. He pulled out two pairs of what looked like normal sunglasses and handed one to me. They weren't normal at all; they were specially formulated by some scientific process I didn't understand that allowed human beings who ordinarily couldn't view ghosts see them. They were absurdly expensive and difficult to make, which was why I was borrowing Angeal's instead of having my own.

"Yes."

I slid the glasses on and instantaneously realized why Sephiroth seemed so frustrated. The ghost was seated on top of his stomach, grinning happily at us. Although it wouldn't weigh anything, it made Sephiroth feel awkward because of his enormous personal space bubble. The ghost was watching us curiously, hands on his knees and eyes bright. He had long hair styled into an impressive crown of spikes, and it was darker than the rest of him. Like all ghosts, his whole body and his clothes were a shimmering, white-blue shade. He was dressed in a T-shirt and jeans.

"Is there any way you can tell us your name?" Genesis asked, "Or should we just keep calling you a puppy?"

He grimaced at the word 'puppy'. Apparently, even though it described him perfectly, it bothered him. He drew three consecutive lines in the air that looked suspiciously like, "Z? It starts with Z, right?" I asked. The man nodded enthusiastically, then made a triangle with his fingers. "A?" Another nod. The next two letters he spelled out were C and K, and it took us about three tries to figure out what the K was.

"So his name's Zack," Genesis said, "but that doesn't help us find where his body is."

"We have _got_ to do something about him," Sephiroth groaned, "he's obnoxious."

The ghost stuck his tongue out at Sephiroth in response, still defiantly seated on his midsection.

"Well, it's not like anyone can see him," I pointed out. Sephiroth aimed a kick straight through the ghost's form. Zack frowned at him and hugged his leg, pouting like a dejected child. "Unless you want to try and get his last name out of him."

"I can find out enough from this," Sephiroth said.

I was never sure exactly how Sephiroth found out what he did from what he had. Reno and I both thought he had been a spy at some point in his life, because one piece of information on someone could teach Sephiroth so much about them. He was either just _that smart_ or he had some darn good connections. I thought it was some of both. Genesis was almost as good, but he was better at getting information out of people. He could make someone spill their guts to him within a matter of seconds, just because of the way he looked at them.

Being a siren had its benefits.

Genesis could also get a date before any of us even noticed him talking to a girl.

It was a week before Sephiroth found out where Zack was. "I had to look in _Gongaga_," he complained. "The kid's from a hick town in the middle of a rainforest!" I couldn't see Zack anymore, because Angeal had his glasses off on a solo mission. One of the major problems with werewolves was that, when grouped, they were very defensive against anything not-werewolf. They would be extremely opposed to the rest of us.

Even though I couldn't see Zack, I could imagine the look on his face. He was definitely mad at Sephiroth for insulting his hometown.

"So, is he in a hospital somewhere there?" Genesis asked, strolling out of his bedroom. He was in a T-shirt that was two sizes too big for him and sweatpants, hair rumpled like he'd just woken up. He still looked ridiculously attractive for having just rolled out of bed.

"No, he's in Midgar. I found him," Sephiroth said, " – would you get _off_ of me!" I got the feeling that our resident ghost was thanking Sephiroth uncomfortably physically for finding his body. Sephiroth grimaced and waved his arm like he was batting away a cloud of invisible gnats. Note to self: don't hug Sephiroth. The only reason Zack was uninjured was that Sephiroth couldn't touch him.

I was beginning to worry about what would happen to him once he got a physical body again.

Genesis was laughing hysterically at Sephiroth's plight, completely without sympathy for either of them. I nearly did as well – without being able to see Zack, Sephiroth looked a little schizophrenic.

"Will you two just shut up and get in the car?" Sephiroth groaned, "and I think Zack either wants to shoot someone or is calling shotgun."

Genesis ruled that ghosts could not call shotgun, and placed himself in the front seat. I could already imagine Zack's puppy eyes.

The drive to the hospital was interesting, to say the least. I sat next to Zack, which was strange because I knew he was _there_, but I couldn't see him. Sephiroth looked continually more and more frustrated, and eventually told us that Zack kept poking him. A ghost touching you only felt cold, and it was weird because it felt like there should be physical pressure but there _wasn't_. It was one of the oddest sensations I had ever come across.

Not to mention it was acutely uncomfortable.

We pulled into the parking lot at the hospital and the car stopped jerkily. Sephiroth was a creature lacking patience entirely, which his driving clearly displayed. Genesis, much to Sephiroth's chagrin, liked to tell the story of the time Sephiroth was trying to get somewhere on time, got pulled over twice for speeding, and ended up two hours late.

Sephiroth slammed the door as he got out of the car, cursing ghosts and all that came with them to the Lifestream and back. Genesis followed much more calmly, for once in his life. Usually, Genesis was high-strung and dramatic, but right now he coolly watched Sephiroth rant and rave about the undead.

Sephiroth fell into a more sullen mood when we entered the white, sterile environment of the hospital. Places like this, immaculately clean and smelling entirely of antiseptic, always sobered him. They probably made him think of his father, a scientist who chose working his life away over his son.

Genesis went to the front desk to ask if we could see Zack Fair, and Sephiroth and I hung back. Presumably, the ghost was with us as well.

The receptionist tried to tell him that visiting hours were over, and we could only get in if we were family. That wouldn't do. We didn't know anyone who was related to him. Genesis took a different tactic. He leaned over the counter, batting his eyelashes and smiling at the woman. "Could we _please_ see him for… like five minutes?" he begged in _that_ voice. The voice of a siren that got anyone to do what he asked. Genesis was useful sometimes. The receptionist backed down, not even checking us for identification before letting us inside.

Sephiroth opened the door to the room. The man lying on the bed was identical in appearance to the ghost, and his skin was almost as pale as a ghost's as well. His hair was black, though, and the scar on his cheek that was nearly invisible on the ghost's face stood out, dark pink against his skin. He was attached to a number of tubes and wires, IVs, and a beeping machine that went completely haywire seconds after we entered. I assumed that meant his ghost had reunited with his body.

Zack's eyes slid open, a startlingly vivid shade of blue. He looked simultaneously relieved and terrified.

Before we knew what was happening, the room was swarmed by doctors and nurses. We were quickly escorted outside by two severe-looking women in scrubs, and deposited in a set of uncomfortable chairs in the lobby. "We should probably wait for him," Sephiroth said, running a hand through his hair and trying as best he could to relax.

"Ugh, I don't want to hang around this place," Genesis complained.

Sephiroth was enormously fidgety during the duration of our wait, probably because we were in a hospital. He kept playing with his hair and shifting his position every few minutes, until it became almost unbearably annoying. "Seph, cut it out," Genesis ordered, putting a hand on Sephiroth's knee. "You're making me nervous."

Sephiroth only muttered a quick apology.

It was probably an hour before Zack was allowed out of the hospital room. Instead of being dressed in the pale hospital gown, he had changed into jeans and a black T-shirt. That alone made him look healthier. He still seemed a little weak, but otherwise okay. Not to mention _alive_. He smiled at us, and when Sephiroth stood, Zack hugged him. "Thank you," he said warmly. They were the first words I heard come out of his mouth, but most certainly not the last. When he let go, Sephiroth looked a little disgruntled, probably because he still wasn't used to physical contact.

"It was nothing," Sephiroth said, still twisting a lock of his hair around his fingers. His expression was back to being stone-cold, but Genesis and I knew that the hair thing was a nervous habit of his. "I'm just… glad you're okay."

I had a strange desire to either laugh or run when Genesis gave Sephiroth a look that clearly said, 'can we keep him?'

**A/N: Well, that was fun. One quick question before I go (and as a sidenote, no, I don't know the answer to it): Who was narrating this thing, anyway?**


End file.
